Thursday, January 27, 2011

re: help?

Every time it's amazing to me that little flakes could add up to this…



This morning I woke up to knee high snow. Again. Since I’ve lived in the states—eleven years now—I can’t remember that it’s ever snowed so much in January. Yesterday someone told me that it reminds him of April rains. How is the weather where you are?

Earlier, Vex Kitty escaped from us (again) and ran down our shoveled walkway and just stood and looked at the wall of snow blocking his entry unto the sidewalk as if he couldn’t believe it.


New York public schools are closed today, so I’m off from babysitting since Jasmine’s mom is home with her. I love snow days!

I really appreciate those of you who left feedback on my last post. In case you missed it, I asked for advice because I agreed to go out for dinner with some girlfriends, realizing hours before the date that the restaurant is a Chinese one. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you might know that Chinese takeout is my biggest trigger food and is largely responsible for me regaining forty pounds last semester. This year I’ve even committed to stay away from Chinese food.

Yesterday, I asked you to consider my options with me:
  • I could cancel and go to the gym instead, then head home.
  • I could tell my girlfriends what's up and suggest that we go elsewhere, but honestly I'm not comfortable with that. For me it's a bit...much to explain. Plus this restaurant was chosen before I even committed.
  • Or I could go as planned, enjoy myself--especially since classes start on Friday and I'll have less time for leisure--and continue to ignore the local Chinese takeout places around my home and workplace.
Here’s what a few of you had to say:

Anonymous wrote: “I think that you should cancel. I'm sure that this is not the only chance you'll have to hang out with the girls. Take a rain check, blame it on the snow, and head to the gym. You'll feel so good afterwards. However, this is only my opinion. Do what you think may be best for you. Good luck, Alexia!

Erin wrote: “If it were me, I'd go and order some steamed veggies or something.”

Trisha wrote: “I'm leaning towards canceling... HOWEVER, if you can truly commit to a plan and stick to it, then I would go. I agree with not asking your friends to pick somewhere else... I mean I am sure they would understand, but it is a bit uncomfortable... But yeah, if you are 100% for sure you won’t cheat and you can stick to a plan...GO have a good time. Eating healthy is just as tasty as eating bad.... but if you have any doubt that you wont stay on plan... cancel.”

Miss Erika wrote: “Alexia, I think you should go, enjoy yourself, and then reflect tomorrow and see how you felt about the food and how you felt after eating it. If you're happy with yourself tomorrow I think you'll know you're making progress toward your goals. If not, you can readjust. : )”

Christie wrote: “I don't understand. I would tell my friends that I wasn't thrilled about the restaurant. I mean they are your friends, they should understand. If they don't want to change restaurants, bow out. It's okay. Stick to your guns. Go out with them another time another place. If you cant tell your friends, then how can you expect to live a healthy lifestyle? You know your triggers better than anyone else. I'd not go. I'd not even go to the gym lol :) But that's me.”


Christie--it's not that I can't tell my friends so much, my closest friends read my blog in fact, but it's that I'm a bit wary of explaining binging and compulsive overeating to people who've never been there. The restaurant was chosen since last week so that's why I was uncomfortable asking for the plans to be changed a couple hours before the arranged meeting time.


Thank you for your thoughts, everyone! I really appreciate them. I did end up going to the restaurant, a tiny spot in the East Village with really cheap food. I ordered vegetable soup and spicy soft tofu.

 Here’s what I realized:
  • In the past, I’d order too much takeout and eat it alone. Eating with other people, when I’m so self-aware is very different. I felt very much in control.
  • It’s just food, but at the same time, it’s not as simple as that for me. Still, I do think that worrying too much magnifies my issues to give them a more significant place than they deserve in my life.
I’m glad I went. The food was good—so spicy! I’m going to continue with my regular no Chinese takeout scheduled program…I’ve loved walking past my local takeout places and feeling oh so powerful :)

-A-

15 comments:

arielcircleofnine said...

glad to hear how things went--they went well!!! I didnt see your plea for help until this morning and by then my advice would've been useless LOL
But yeah--you did great!

Sarah said...

Ooh! Glad you went! THAT is living with food! <3

Melissa said...

You did good, girl! I didn't catch your last post until today. But i saw this one & thought - you went, you had fun, you ate well, and you're not going to go back to lots of chinese eating! :)

Good job!

pinkvision said...

Yay! Result! Keep on with the powerful feelings!

Patsy said...

That's some snow! Not sure if we're going to get much more here (Tabitha would love it if we did!)

Good job on ordering well at the Chinese restaurant - I love spicy food and it definitely satisfies quicker than blander foods!

Roxie said...

That soup looks so yummy! I think you did good.

I'm also a rehabing Chinese food over-eater. I banned it a few months ago.

My home made stuff doesn't do it for me though, one day I may venture back.

Glad you had a good time!

Rosa said...

I don't think I responded yesterday. I think NYC Chinese takeout is addictive. It hold such a strong comforting memory of my mother and I doing our biweekly food shopping, going next door to the chinese restaurant and ordering gallons of shrimp friend rice and fried chicken wings. It still holds this strong comforting hold on me. The chinese takeout in Madison is HORRIBLE, so I am saved from buying it. But I stir fry often times to get that memory back of being with my Mom.

Congrats to you for being so self aware and strong during your outing. You are right, placing takeout as a restriction is only expanding it's mental hold on you. Great job connecting the two and working through it.

Miss Erika said...

Awesome! I'm proud of you. You're definitely striking an appropriate balance between real life and ideal eating. Yay! :D

Jill said...

great job on managing what you eat out! that looks super good. i think eating alone take in and eating out our very different and its so much easier to overeat when you are sitting in front of the tv/computer opposed to talking and laughing with friends.

He Took MY Last Name said...

I understand! Mostly I was explaining what I would do. But then again, I don't go out with friends much.

Look for something special in your mail VERY soon

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

The weather here is unpredictable as usual. 40 in the morning and 61 in the afternoon. Well, I'm to late to help you with your dinner dilemma. I would have suggested that you go, but check out the menu ahead of time so you know what you want to order. A lot of times I'll know but when I get the menu in my hand I change my mind and order something I shouldn't. When I go out to eat I sometimes split the meal or I tell the waitress to give me a to-go box before I start eating. Looks like you handled yourself well. It's a work in progress...baby steps.

Mara said...

ooh the food looks so good! I'm glad you went. It's crazy you have snow. I wish it would happen here :(

SOUL + FOOD said...

THAT'S AWESOME THAT YOU CONQUERED YOUR FEAR.

Roxie-Girl said...

Look at that snow. I'm in VA, we got about 4". I'm originally from South Dakota, so your snow looks like home...I LOVE and MISS it very much.

Good for you for choosing veggie soup and tofu! That is something you should feel very proud of. Chinese is my absolute fave and there is a restaurant within walking distance of my house! GAH!!

Thanks for visiting my blog, it's great to meet you. I'll be back to follow your updates!!!

xoxo
Roxie-Girl

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

WOW--thanks, everyone :)))

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