Friday, March 11, 2011

fake turkey.

Hi, I’m Alexia. I’m a food addict and a Compulsive Overeater.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to say it out loud or if I’ll ever want to or need to: that’s what I was thinking last night at my OA meeting. It was my first time back in a long, long time…since late January I believe. It felt like going back home, especially since I’ve been doing so much self-abuse with food lately.  My scale up and down...down and up—I can almost hear her sighing.

Last night was my first time going to a meeting at the Realization Center, a treatment center for addiction close to where I work. My OA meeting was held in a tiny room with maybe twenty people of varying ages. An imaginary mike got passed from person to person and a woman who I hadn’t noticed in back started to share: She was tiny and older, late seventies or early eighties maybe, and she said that she doesn’t have an eating disorder, but that no other program seems to fit her needs because she can’t make herself eat in the daytime, only nights and only foods that hurt her, since her husband passed away the year before and how incredibly lonely she feels and not knowing what to do about it. Two women start to cry.  Other people continue to share and I leave before it gets to my turn because I'm not ready to share in a meeting yet, especially since everyone always says their name and their food issue before they speak and I'm not ready to yet.

Here’s breakfast:



For the time being, I've decided to start blogging my daily food and fitness to keep myself honest and considerate of my decisions and because I worry I might start eating human beings, too. 

My fake turkey (have you tried tofurky? It’s my first time. Saw it at TJ’s and HADTOHAVE), and a hidden fried egg on an english muffin.

Fake turkey is delicious!

Time flies so fast! I was hoping to make some mango tea, but ALAS. Gotta head to class. Be back later.

-A-

7 comments:

Ro said...

One day at a time and one choice at at time :-)
"tofurkey" makes me *giggle*

Have a great weekend!

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

I know it's so helpful to think of my choices that way or it gets overwhelming :)
It makes me giggle, too! And have a great weekend, too! Behave ;)

Miss S. said...

That is so sad what that woman shared. You will be ready in time my dear.

I love veggie burgers-never done the tofurkey-but I might since I also like saying it. =)

arielcircleofnine said...

Mr. Turkey-lurkey has gone Tofurkey!? who knew :-D Those meetings sound tough, but I love how you are determined to work through your food issues. A lot of us go through them with blinders (and feedbag!) on!

D... said...

That sounds very confronting! Very brave to even go, I'm sure you will share when you feel ready.
I don't eat meat and I've heard of this alternative, what does it taste like? I have real issues finding simple fillings for my sandwiches I take to work that are tasty and healthy.

JIN @ Afro Avenue said...

hhhhhmmmmm...fake turkey, I'm interested

paulawannacracker said...

Good job in goinb back to OA meeting. At least you went. You listened. I've been talking about goint to a meeting for over a year. Good job alexia and so sad about the woman. Being lonely sucks...

And as for tofurky. You're brave little one.

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