Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The time I started eating meat again.

My turkey sandwich in Virginia while visiting recently.

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I didn’t say anything sooner, partially because I think there is so much politics in this country about food, about how we choose to eat. And I think it would be hard for someone like me who didn’t eat meat for so long to get grouped back in with the carnivores. Because of the shame involved for me, especially when I have so many friends who are vegetarians and not wanting to explain to any of them why I eat meat sometimes now, even though…yesyesyes, I know it’s kinder to the environment, my body, animals, etc.

I stopped eating animals when I was maybe sixteen. Maybe even fifteen. Back then, I was convinced that eating chicken—my favorite meat—and any formally living creature wasn’t an ethical thing for me to do. So I stopped eating meat for years. It helped that my sister had joined me and my mother became a Pescatarian for health reasons also.

Now, it doesn’t make me feel too uncomfortable to eat meat. Sometimes I do feel bad, but in general I’m not sure I see it as any less ethical for my cat to eat a mouse. It’s…just how things are.

The first time I started eating meat was maybe two years ago. It was at a low point in my life—I don’t remember why. My woe all just blends together. I am very depressable—so I punished myself by buying and eating meat (chicken?) that day. It was a deliberate move meant to make me feel worse about myself because I didn’t like myself. And it worked. Because I didn’t like the taste, couldn’t imagine why anyone would like the taste…

And then I ate meat again and again (to punish myself) until I started enjoying it.

But for a long time I still referred to myself as a vegetarian because I wouldn’t eat meat for extended periods. I really do love tofu and we don’t keep any meat in our home besides fish.

But anyways, I mention all of this because in the last few months I’ve been eating meat more frequently because of cravings, and so I stopped identifying myself as a vegetarian or as a vegetarian sometimes. Some time ago, I decided I wouldn’t use my meat eating to abuse myself mentally any longer and that if I do eat meat I’d incorporate it into a healthy diet. I guess all of this has helped me realize that I do have more problems with food than simply eating less and moving more to lose the weight—that it is a bigger issue than that for me. Which is why I do things like using my workbooks and doing the twelve steps.

Thank you for the continual support! I really appreciate your friendships! Love, me.

-A-

Ps. This was a hard post to write!

15 comments:

Trisha said...

I eat meat... :( not beef. but turkey and chicken.

But aside from that, you take BY FAR some of the BEST photos!! I mean really... What the heck, you make the pic of your sandwich look like a menu shot!! INSANE! Love your photo talent!

He Took MY Last Name said...

I eat meat all the time. I drool when I think about it. That being said- you have to own your choices, Alexia. Eat meat if you want to. Don't eat it if you don't want to.

You want to be kinder to the environment- I get it. I really do. Even if I can not be a vegetarian myself, I know how you feel about it.

We need to be kind to ourselves first and foremost, friend.

Make the decision to eat what you want to eat, because you want it. Don't worry about your friends. Don't worry about what others think of you. Future husband will love you no matter if you eat meat/eat meat sometimes/dont eat meat at all. Be who you are. That is the kindest thing you can do. PS: Send me your meat.

Anonymous said...

hey thanks for writing about this!
i think it's important for people, particularly women, to not feel shame for the choices they make. we should make our choices & own them! easier said than done, i know. i was a vegan & involved in those politics for several years. i still agree w/the notion that factory farming=evil, but i pretty much disagree w/veganism on all fronts (that it's more politically progressive, morally superior, environmentally superior, & healthfully superior), but those views are best articulated by the books The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Keith, An Omnivores Dilemma, & The Botany of Desire (both by Michael Pollan).

anywho, i say go for it & try not to feel guilty about it. there can be a lot of guilt much akin to the guilt felt by ex-catholics with regard to eating meat, but if this choice is good for you, then that's what's most important. us americans make too big of a deal & invest too much of our identity in the foods we eat precisely because we have lost most of the cultural dictates that explain what foods are best for us given our culture, place, & personality. do what works for you!!!!


-sarina

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

- I mostly stay away from red meat, T. And thanks for the compliment <3 Good photos are about (a.) natural light and (b.) placement among other things :)
- Thank you so much for leaving that comment, Christie! You're absolutely right and thanks for giving a shout out to future husband!

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

Wow, Sarina. Thanks so much for that! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a comment. I think I'm leaving to own everything about myself and choosing what I love about myself and what I'd like to work on. I was thinking the other day that only God has any right to judge me.

Thanks for your comment and reminding me to own it, S!!

purposelyme said...

Eat what you want to eat. I feel like what we chose to eat is a very personal decision and something we can only decide for ourselves.

Amanda said...

I eat very little meat myself, but ultimately I am flexatarian at best. You've got to do what works best for you and your health -- physically, mentally, and emotionally. You're steady... I think you're doing great :)

mherzog said...

Here is a video on animal rights: http://meat.org

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

I'm well aware of animal rights--thanks, mherzog!

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

Thank so much, Amanda! You leave the best comments on my blog and it always brightens my day!

I agree, purposelyme :) I think it's a disservice (while also a very, very good thing) that eating has become so political.

Kara said...

I used to be a vegetarian and I gradually introduced chicken and turkey into my diet for easy protein. Once I got pregnant, I started craving red meat (like steak and hamburgers), and I realized that I REALLY like it. Now I eat red meat more often than poultry, but it doesn't bother me in any way. I figure if I trust my body to make a baby, I should trust my cravings too :)

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

Thank you for stopping by, Karen! I always find it interesting to meet former vegetarians and vegans. Shows how changeable we are, that change doesn't have to be a bad thing. Off to check out your blog!

Christie said...

I'm glad that you are keeping open minded friend. Like I say- be kind to yourself as you are the only you that you have.

Own it girlfriend!

coconut-chronicles.com said...

Hey! I LOVE your blog! So glad I found it :-)
I totally admire your view on the whole vegetarian thing. I transitioned to a vegetation (and mostly vegan) diet a few months ago, and at first I craved meat but denied myself and 'beat myself up' for even craving it! The past couple of months I haven't craved it at all, though. BUT if I DO, I am honestly going to allow myself to eat it now and honour my cravings. I am not going to beat myself up for being a 'bad' vegetarian or a 'bad' blogger!

JIN @ Elephant Juice said...

You're so brave!

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