Sunday, February 6, 2011

On age.

My friend's son turned seven today.

Not six like I was thinking.
Which means I’ve known him since he was three.
Four years. That’s a hell of a long time.

Nothing makes me feel aware of my age like a child who sprouts limbs and leaves in front of my very eyes.

Do you know what I told myself last year? That I wouldn’t reach my 23rd birthday, which is coming up in March, at a weight I’m unsatisfied with. When I picture hopes for my future: going to grad school, traveling, meeting a boy kind enough to me, having children…I’m thin in all of those photographs.

When I left the party, I walked by a store I know and saw that it’s been turned into a Duane Reade. In it’s past life it was a snooty designer store.

It made me sad. Something about change always makes me a little sad.

Maybe because all the pounds I have to lose are so tied to my personal narrative. Maybe that’s why. I have no idea.

But it makes me sadder to recreate the same stories. To not change, to not grow, to not learn. I hope I can share those photographs with you.



He Took MY Last Name said...

You share lots of photographs :) They don't all have to be weight related. Boys and kittehs will love you for you, not for your weight or what size you wear.

Trust me, my husband married me after I gained 60 lbs! I'm proof that love conquers all!

Christine said...

We are only one month into this year. I started in 2009 in may. In under two years I look and feel like an entirely different person. Alexia, today is your day. And so is tomorrow. Every moment for the rest of your life is an opportunity to make a new direction, to create exactly what you want. To be who you want to be.
you make that decision
I have something I want you to watch....I saw this last night and it sums up what I believe completely. I think you will like it.

I was 35 when I figured it out, and to watch you get it at your YOUNG age would be a blessing.
I know you can do it.

MizFit said...

my sister turned 39 yesterday

Glam,Glitz&Gut said...

Change makes me sad too but guess what wont make us sad, reaching our birthday goal! I've done terribly lately, but I think I'm ready to kick this goal in the pants! (oh, and you are too, just in case you were unsure ;o) )

Alexia @ said...

- AND he took your last name, Christie! Now, that's a hell of a man.

- thank you so much for that, christie. i always trying to remind myself that it's thismomentthismomentthismoment that counts! you're always right, huh?

- yesyesyes, erin! :)))))

Candace Best said...


Anne H said...

You are just too sweet to worry...
Hugs to you from here!
*pushes reset button*
It's all good! Change doesn't have to hurt!

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